Comments on: Top 20 Movie Insults

By: Malcolm

Malcolm — Sun, 08 May 2011 14:56:06 +0000

Two spring to mind, but before that, I wanted to agre with RayRay about the “like a penis only smaller” line, it’s a classic. For me though, I think the best insult is in Planes Trains and Automobiles, but not the one they suggested.

– Movie: Planes Trains and Automobiles –
Car Rental Agent: [cheerfully] Welcome to Marathon, may I help you?
Neal: Yes.
Car Rental Agent: How may I help you?
Neal: You can start by wiping that fucking dumb-ass smile off your rosey, fucking, cheeks! And you can give me a fucking automobile: a fucking Datsun, a fucking Toyota, a fucking Mustang, a fucking Buick! Four fucking wheels and a seat!
Car Rental Agent: I really don’t care for the way you’re speaking to me.
Neal: And I really don’t care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn’t fucking there. And I really didn’t care to fucking walk, down a fucking highway, and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile in my fucking face. I want a fucking car RIGHT FUCKING NOW!
Car Rental Agent: May I see your rental agreement?
Neal: I threw it away.
Car Rental Agent: Oh boy.
Neal: Oh boy, what?
Car Rental Agent: You’re fucked!

==========
My favorite insult however, comes from The Tempest by William Shakespeare.

The play starts on a ship in stormy seas. An argument breaks out between the boatswain and a few nobles, including the King among others. The boatswain basically tells them to bugger off and let him do his job.

“None that I more love than myself. You are a counsellor; if you can command these elements to silence, and work the peace of the present, we will not hand a rope more; use your authority: if you cannot, give thanks you have lived so long, and make yourself ready in your cabin for the mischance of the hour, if it so hap. Cheerly, good hearts! Out of our way, I say.”

However, the best is yet to come. The argument continues with this brilliant insult.

“I’ll warrant him for drowning; though the ship were no stronger than a nutshell and as leaky as an unstanched wench.”

Modern translation. This ship is as leaky as a dirty whore. Ew.

By: nvfhapijf

nvfhapijf — Wed, 17 Nov 2010 19:46:43 +0000

The Big Lebowski

Malibu Police Chief: I don’t like your jerk-off name. I don’t like your jerk-off face. I don’t like your jerk-off behavior, and I don’t like you, jerk-off.

By: TRIVIAL thoughts

TRIVIAL thoughts — Sat, 06 Nov 2010 01:29:05 +0000

movie Full Metal Jacket
insulter: R Lee Emery (who else)
Pvt. Pile, you run like old people fuck!
don’t know what it looks like, but…

By: ACS

ACS — Sat, 23 Oct 2010 14:34:12 +0000

~ in the movie Sneakers, Robert Redford’s character tells a govt agent,
“I couldn’t work for your agency – my parents are married.”

By: Father Flannigan

Father Flannigan — Sat, 23 Oct 2010 04:16:03 +0000

Bar none — the greatest insult was from 1973′s “The Exorcist”:
“Your mother sucks cocks in Hell!”

By: RayRay

RayRay — Thu, 21 Oct 2010 23:47:00 +0000

from Pink Cadillac, when the perv flash Bernidette Peters and ask’s, what ya think ? She says, “looks like a penis, only smaller”.

By: JWAY35

JWAY35 — Thu, 21 Oct 2010 22:37:18 +0000

The greatest insult I’ve ever heard on the big screen was from Blade Trinity
Hannibal Cane: That’s atomized colloidal silver. It’s being pumped through the building’s air conditioning system, you cock-juggling thundercunt!

By: Bryce

Bryce — Tue, 31 Aug 2010 10:14:49 +0000

Full Metal Jacket
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Holy dog shit! Texas? Only steers and queers come from Texas, Private Cowboy. And you don’t look much like a steer to me so that kinda narrows it down. Do you suck dicks?

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Private Pyle, I’m gonna give you three seconds, exactly three fucking seconds, to wipe that stupid looking grin off your face or I will gouge out your eyeballs and skull fuck you.

By: Lou

Lou — Fri, 20 Aug 2010 17:11:36 +0000

The best insult in my personal arsenal comes from a 90s film called Deep Cover, starting Jeff Goldblum and Laurence Fishburne. Naturally you have to adapt it a little:

Goldblum: You ever fuck two women at once?
Fishburne: Yeah, your mother and your father.

By: tenn9fan

tenn9fan — Tue, 10 Aug 2010 04:22:55 +0000

Biloxi Blues (1988)

Insulter: Sgt. Erwin Toomey
Situation: The platoon of Basic Training recruits are marching through the swamp and they have stopped at the edge of a large body of water. Sgt. Toomey gets mad and goes up to find out why they have stopped.
Sgt. Erwin Tooney: Why the hell have we stopped?
Pinelli: That looks like pretty deep water sargeant.
Sgt. Erwin Toomey: So, what does that mean Selridge?
Selridge: Uh, it means that it’s pretty deep water.
The insult: Sgt. Erwin Toomey: Selridge, you would need five promotions just to be an asshole.
Why it rules: Simple, yet elegant.